fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
