Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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