was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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