I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
