spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
