who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
