were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
