we have pet lesbian snakes
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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