Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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