she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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