wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
