Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
