His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
