I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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