What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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