I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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