But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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