just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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