Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
