Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
