i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
