Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
