My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
