i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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