I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
