I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
