Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
