Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
