I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
