Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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