i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The adults are the big ones right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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