dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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