I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
