sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
