They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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