Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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