that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
