Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
