i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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