May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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