Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
