we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
