I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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