i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
