I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
