The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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