...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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