Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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