Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
