I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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