Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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